


Broke all my bones that day I found you

by Jaskiers_BrokenLute



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Deserves Nice Things, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Happy Ending, Insecure Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, they actually communicate in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27772732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaskiers_BrokenLute/pseuds/Jaskiers_BrokenLute
Summary: Something wasn't working.Jaskier had assumed things would slip into place easily, the shift in their routine should have been a very small thing, hardly noticeable really.He and Geralt have been friends for years, roommates for half that time, and silently pining after each other for the vast majority of it, so when the time finally came that they became more than friends, not much in their daily lives should have changed.ORMiscommunications and misunderstandings lead Jaskier to believe Geralt doesn't love him, and they talk it out like adults.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 193





	Broke all my bones that day I found you

**Author's Note:**

> Based very loosely on the lyrics of Line Without A Hook by Ricky Montgomery

Something wasn't working. 

Jaskier had assumed things would slip into place easily, the shift in their routine should have been a very small thing, hardly noticeable really.  
He and Geralt have been friends for years, roommates for half that time, and silently pining after each other for the vast majority of it, so when the time finally came that they became more than friends, not much in their daily lives should have changed. 

They already had a routine set around each other, Geralt woke up first, made breakfast and woke up Jaskier with a cup of coffee containing an ungodly amount of sugar, Jaskier claims he has an alarm set but with how often Geralt has to physically shake him awake, the older man is not convinced.  
They share breakfast most days unless one of them needs to be off out earlier than usual, in which case they'd only share a coffee then by wishing the other a good day. 

They went about their own days respectfully, Jaskier sending meaningless texts and updates about his day over to Geralt anytime his hands weren't busy with something else, oftentimes accompanied with a selfie or short video if the occasion called for it, all of which were saved to Geralt's phone and re-watched on days they couldn't be together or were fighting and not talking until Jaskier inevitable grew sick of the silence and forces an apology out of Geralt. 

Then, when they both got home Geralt would either make dinner out they'd order take away, watch a movie, the person who chose the film would change day to day, even if Geralt usually ended up letting Jaskier choose anyway, and once it was over they would go to sleep in their separate rooms until tomorrow when Geralt's alarm went off and they started again. 

Realistically, all Jaskier had expected to change was which bed they would sleep in and how often he would be able to actually act on the urge to kiss Geralt's stupidly handsome face throughout the day. 

But something wasn't working. 

It seemed alright for a week or so, they would wake up in Geralt's bed, or Jaskier's if they'd ended up there instead, Jaskier would kiss Geralt on the cheek and demand his breakfast in bed, Geralt would roll his eyes but inevitably come back with two plates of breakfast and overly-sugared coffee.  
They would share a kiss before they went their separate ways, Jaskier would send him a million loving texts with a hundred heart emojis each, and Geralt would hardly respond.  
Jaskier still chose most movies and they still sat moulded together on the couch before it was time to retire to bed, and all in all, nothing seemed explicitly wrong or different from an outside perspective, but Jaskier could feel how Geralt was growing stiff around him, he spoke less if that was even possible, never initiated kisses, or contact, or anything to do with their relationship at all, and seemed more stressed out recently than ever before. 

Jaskier felt like shit, to put it frankly, to spend your entire friendship wishing for something more only to get it and find that your supposed boyfriend doesn't even like being around you anymore, which will certainly put you in a shitty mood.  
Geralt seemed so sincere when he'd said Jaskier's feelings were reciprocated, but it was glaringly obvious that Geralt didn't want this. 

This weekend Geralt was going to visit his father on his ranch, usually, Jaskier would come with him, but this time he'd lied and said he was too busy, had a gig and just couldn't miss it.  
Truthfully he was free as a bird, but it would be the perfect opportunity to sit down by himself and work things out, how to approach the obvious problems that had formed since they got together. Also, this way they wouldn't have to jump the gun on telling Geralt's family if they were only going to crash and burn a week later. 

"I'll see you on Monday love," Jaskier smiled, a bit forced, and wrapped his arms around Geralt's neck. 

Placing a chaste kiss on Geralt's lips he paused a moment to see if Geralt would lean in for something more before they were separate for the first time since officiating their relationship, but when he didn't he drop back onto his feet and wrapped his arms around himself. 

"Tell Ves I said hi," He mutters softly, already feeling a lump form in his throat.

"I will," 

Geralt ducked out quickly after that, sparing no more words for Jaskier before he was driving the few hours home. 

If he'd known a relationship with Geralt would make him feel so unwanted he would have continued to ignore his hopeless love forever, things were perfect before, they were close, Geralt didn't hide from him or pull away from gentle touches, now he acts as if Jaskier's a stranger again, it hurt more than Jaskier had prepared himself for. Rejection may have been preferable. 

The weekend that was meant to be spent thinking quickly turned into a weekend spent with a bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream, and movies he and Geralt used to watch on repeat years ago, sobbing into Geralt's pillow. 

Sitting in his spot on the couch was so familiar, they'd been having movie nights and late-night deep conversations on this couch since they moved in together nearly five years ago now, five years spent laughing and making fun of the shit acting in hallmark movies. Years spent crying on each other's shoulders after dates gone horribly wrong and visits with cut-off family. Years he was so incredibly happy with Geralt, where he felt he'd be overjoyed to spend the rest of his life.  
Now it felt out of place, like visiting a new friend's house for the first time when you're awkwardly perched on the very edge of your seat waiting for them to tell you it's okay to relax. 

That's what made his chest ache the most, knowing that things would never be the same and that he was no longer allowed his happily ever after beside the man he loved on the old, stained couch they'd bought together five years ago. 

These things he'd once taken entirely for granted were about to be snatched away from him in three days' time, his Geralt would be gone, replaced with someone he doesn't know.  
Awkward days spent avoiding each other in their once shared space. 

There's nothing left to do but sob loudly into the sofa cushions, on the edge of screaming with how badly it hurts, he never wished he could take something back more than now, never wished the surface beneath him were Geralt's accepting arms like now. Never wished he could disappear entirely until now. 

For three days he laid on that sofa, too scared to go to his bed lest he gets used to sleeping alone again, not just yet is he ready to be alone again. Three days he's too afraid to make himself breakfast lest it reminds him that he'll be eating alone, three days he woke up with an alarm, not ready to realize Geralt never came, and three days he spent wishing somehow the time would go backwards. 

It didn't.  
Time went painfully quickly, and before he knew it Geralt's keys were turning in the lock, it sounded more like a jail cell being locked from the outside, a sentence that he wasn't ready to accept just yet. 

"Jaskier?" He paused as he closed the door behind him.  
From here he could just barely see Jaskier's head resting on the edge of the sofa, his hair messy and unkept, an empty bottle of wine on the floor beside him and no signs that he'd done anything else to be seen. 

"What happened?" He kicked off his shoes and rounded the couch, kneeling in front of it. 

Jaskier was facing away from him, arms wrapped tightly around his person in a mock hug. Geralt's heart squeezed in his chest as he ran through his mind for answers, both to what happened and how to fix it. He was never very good at comforting people, but with Jaskier, he never had to worry about the hows or whys of it, the man never fails to ask for exactly what he needs, not this time though, he'd have thought Jaskier was asleep if not for the choppy way he was breathing. 

"Can you look at me?" He asks softly, hand rubbing small circles on Jaskier's arm hoping it offered some semblance of comfort. 

It takes a few moments but Jaskier eventually rolls over to face Geralt, his eyes puffy and irritated where he'd been rubbing at them all weekend, the amount of time he'd spent crying written clearly on his splotchy red cheeks and nose. 

Geralt took in a stuttered breath at the sight, bringing his hand up to cup the side of Jaskier's face, hating how the action caused his blue eyes to water once more, his chin wrinkled in the effort of holding them back. 

"Jask? What's wrong?" 

"I don't know," He breathed, his voice raw, delicate in a way that you could hear it ready to break at the slightest touch. 

"I don't know why you don't love me," 

Geralt thought he'd known heartbreak the day he and Yennefer had split up, thought he'd known the extent he could hurt for someone else, but nothing compared to the shock of pain that stabbed through him at the words.  
He would give everything he had for Jaskier to never spend his weekend crying over him again, to convince him that there is nothing in this world he loves more desperately than him, and he'd failed at even loving the one man he truly did. 

"What?" Despite the pain that had rooted itself deep inside his chest and began climbing up his throat, he could hardly manage to form words for how it felt, couldn't begin to fix what he'd so clearly broken. 

"You pull away when I touch you, you barely talk to me anymore and I don't know what I did wrong Geralt, I thought you loved me,"

His voice shattered like thin glass, cutting easily into Geralt, tears falling on his hand where he was still holding Jaskier. 

"I don't care if you touch me," He replied desperately, shuffling closer on his knees to wrap his arm around Jaskier's back and pulling him closer, his head on Geralt's shoulder, a hand running through his greasy brown hair.

"I don't give a damn if you touch me, I just, fuck Jaskier I didn't mean to make you think I didn't love it every time you're close to me. It's a lot sometimes because I love you so much it's a lot to feel when you're near me," He began, finally finding the words as he pulled Jaskier into his lap and gently started rocking him, finding comfort in comforting Jaskier, he would never rest easy if Jaskier was in pain. 

"I didn't mean to ignore you, I need you so much Jaskier, always, I'm a wreck when I'm without you, I feel so small with you, you're so much more than me, I can't believe I have you, sometimes I need to step away and let it sink in, that I'm the luckiest person on this earth," He swallowed the lump in his throat to place a kiss on Jaskier's cheek and collect his thoughts. 

"I love you," He breathed, resting his head on Jaskier's, breathing easier when he noticed Jaskier's breathing had begun to return to normal. 

"I've got you, you have me,"

"You're a dick," Jaskier whispered, voice like sandpaper and muffled in Geralt's chest. 

"I know," 

"And an idiot," He continued, sitting up so they were finally facing each other. 

"You deserve me, Geralt, me and everything good in the world. Next time you doubt that come to me, we can talk it out, just don't hide from me, okay? We'll make this work?"

"Okay,"

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me, send a prompt or say hi over on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jaskiersbrokenlute


End file.
